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Different Roads

by Justin Janer

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1.
I gave you things to show my heart sings thought I saw us together sweet and serene I should have seen this wouldn't last no never gliding away forget yesterday called me to say it's over so hard to leave trust disbelief tell me again it's over
2.
you were my favorite you were my answer you were my passion you were my friend I was your laughter I was your story I was your window I was your view What is this emptiness you were my shadow you were my cold night you were my warm heart you were my truth I was your future I was your last choice I was your prison I was your noise What is this emptiness
3.
Different roads lead home I'm trying hard not to trip on the cracks or end up lying in the gutter no I don't feel bad inside in fact I don't feel anything at all I tried to play the game for a while got dragged down streets and lost in her eyes I put my lips all over this town feeling used and starting to dry out Then suddenly I realized I was sacrificing my values and my pride the pressures were building up all around what kind of a man did I grow up to be when sleeping around doesn't work any more there's no point in rushing into things yeah it doesn't feel right no one really wants that kind of suffering
4.
Wild Inside 02:02
I wonder who you are and where you come from where are you going can I go there too are you always that shy would you mind if I sat closer I've never been around a girl as smart as you I feel like my words are all bad and my posture sucks too I think you might be wild inside just like me I wonder who you are and where you come from
5.
watch her glimmering blinding glow listen when she speaks follow her as she drifts aside run and hide in her sunlight sheltered in her secrets basking in her perfect day thirsty for her liquor starving for her roses in bloom bathing in her river dying in her ocean so blue
6.
Just Go Away 03:48
I got money in the bank but no love in my pocket I've opened all the doors except to the room you're in you locked it they want you then they leave yeah you're left staring at the floor so you drive all over town searching for something more The story's still the same they get too close then vanish you're left looking like a child so retro and so selfish you don't know what you need maybe you do but you don't listen keep shifting gears again you don't know what you could be missing so just go away I'll break your heart you'll break mine too just go away you'll break my heart I'll break yours too just go away I'll break your heart you'll break mine too just go away you'll break my heart I'll break yours too I wish you'd stick around there's lot's of things to do here I'll show you my favorite places like the aquarium on the pier I want to hold your hand and see if it fits in mine we could walk along the sand and share a special time Were you scared when you ran away is there something that could be different did I say some stupid things that made you cold and distant We could have made this grow just like a flower bud in autumn but you cut our branch to soon and now I'm rotting at the bottom so just go away I'll break your heart you'll break mine too just go away you'll break my heart I'll break yours too just go away I'll break your heart you'll break mine too just go away you'll break my heart I'll break yours too I would do anything to get you off my mind
7.
why do I need more than the cool breeze in spring why do I need more than an afternoon daydream than an afternoon daydream than an afternoon daydream why do I need more than the haunting of your whispers why do I need more than an evening alone than an evening alone than an evening alone I should be grateful for your perfume that lingers and the touch of your skin that once slid past my fingers why do I need more than to think of you wildly distracted and hoping that small flame lights burn brightly that small flame lights burn brightly that small flame lights burn brightly why do I need more than the melody so bitter why do I need more than the cracks in my heart than the cracks in my heart than the cracks in my heart I should be grateful for your perfume that lingers and the touch of your skin that once slid past my fingers why do I need more than the cool breeze in spring why do I need more than an afternoon daydream than an afternoon daydream than an afternoon daydream
8.
Never Bad 03:24
a little bird awoke me he said have a better day stay out in the sunlight and forget about the rain I once I met a stranger I asked her what she thought she had flowers on her broken dress and I think her friend was lost I've been drinking till I'm angry I don't like to get high I've wasted all my courage and now she's seeing another guy I'm trying to make things alright trying not to walk alone but the streets are often empty and no one's calling on the phone sometimes I think real hard about it and get sad but I'll remember you for only good things and never bad I've been all over searching trying to find my ideal but I'm looking in the wrong places and some wounds need time to heal I'm throwing all my things away getting rid of all these clothes I'm tired of always covering what my heart wants to expose sometimes I think real hard about it and get sad but I'll remember you for only good things and never bad
9.
your name's been following me for a week I've seen it in the cracks on the street I yelled it at the top of my lungs it's brought me a little pain and a lot of luck it's the only sound that I hear it grabs me by the hand and it makes things clear oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh your name is all that I need it floats around my head and it plants a seed a little hope in a desert so bleak your name's been following me for a week oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
10.
no this isn't love but it's not far away no this isn't love but it's not far away something's ringing deep inside and it's trembling hum is keeping us awake tonight it's fearful how she lays beside with raven hair and eyes full of the night full of the night no this isn't love but it's not far away no this isn't love but it's not far away giving up on former lives we accept the truth and leave the trash behind locked and trapped in tangled vines we drift like sturgeons in a murky sea we found shelter in our bodies but danger in our minds danger in our minds no this isn't love but it's not far away no this isn't love but it's not far away
11.
All Day 04:19
we walked around for hours we talked about the flowers it was a perfect day we looked good in the mirror so glad to have to have you nearer by my side the time just flew away we cancelled afternoon plans I held your sweaty little hands in my own I'll guide you anywhere I kissed you in a bookstore we went back to your place for so much more we floated in a dream now nothing is like it was before my world has changed since I walked up to your door this happiness is here to stay I only think of you all day we saw the best in one another I liked her dress and how her nails had changed color I always look the same the sunlight burned our faces I took her to my favorite places but everything looked new now nothing is like it was before my world has changed since I walked up to your door this happiness is here to stay I only think of you all day now nothing is like it was before my world has changed since I walked up to your door this happiness is here to stay I only think of you all day
12.
VHS Tapes 03:12
damp and in your sheets were you sleeping did I wake you again? you've been coughing lately and your voice is hazy I once heard you singing through the night are you stressed about the morning? well you don't have to worry everything will be alright I'll see you tomorrow around eight thirty I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes feeling sick for weeks but working steady did you miss any classes today? that medicine's crazy it's not what you should be taking I'd have you drink some tea instead maybe we'll put in some honey make you feel warm and cozy I will give you everything that you need and if you're feeling lazy we can put on a movie I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes I'll bring my TV and some VHS tapes
13.
whenever I'm with you I know you feel it too the flowers start to bloom and winter ends too soon when I see your face it takes me to that other place where time just gets erased and all our fears replaced with courage to climb the highest mountain and strength to swim across the sea you're the angel in my dreams at night and when I'm awake you're next to me and when I'm awake you're next to me and when I'm awake you're next to me you tell me things so true someday I will love you you're the eyes I look into and the hands that pull me through You're all I want to be always happy and carefree you laugh and smile so sweet and give kindness endlessly with courage to climb the highest mountain and strength to swim across the sea you're the angel in my dreams at night and when I'm awake you're next to me and when I'm awake you're next to me and when I'm awake you're next to me
14.
Ocean Blue 03:39
I know you have to go I wish I could follow you I understand I can't hold your hand or sit next to you on the plane I realize I can't look in your eyes and you can't see my colors change I'll miss your place and pillow case I won't be there to keep you warm but I'll keep the ocean blue for you but I'll keep the ocean blue for you stay strong hope the trip isn't long I hear it's very pretty there life isn't fair please know that I care and miss you here in my heart when we're alone we'll talk on the phone but it's really not the same as being home when you're away I'll search for you all day but won't find you anywhere in this town but I'll keep the ocean blue for you but I'll keep the ocean blue for you but I'll keep the ocean blue for you
15.
You questioned what was real between us I'm denying all my thoughts of losing you I've got ten fingers and ten little toes and I'm counting down the days till you come back no one knows you went away for two weeks maybe more I'm coughing my apologies out on the floor We used to be so good now it's all bad I ruined what we had and we're both sad well San Diego doesn't seem far away I'll pack my board in my truck and sit in traffic all day escape from my panic my guilt and my shame spend a day out in the sunshine and forget whose to blame now all I have is this long drive past a little lagoon siting beside my memories fading soon didn't I make you so happy in June? alone I'm staring out the window all afternoon on this long drive past a little lagoon sitting beside my memories fading soon didn't I make you so happy in June? alone I'm staring out the window all afternoon there's so many special things I would have shown you shared the world through my eyes but you can run away get as far as you can make everyone else happy and find a better man adapt to a stranger and have faith in God above live for tomorrow and make sure to never fall in love now all I have is this long drive past a little lagoon siting beside my memories fading soon didn't I make you so happy in June? alone I'm staring out the window all afternoon on this long drive past a little lagoon siting beside my memories fading soon didn't I make you so happy in June? alone I'm staring out the window all afternoon

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released February 17, 2022

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Justin Janer Mountain House, California

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